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Puddle-Jumpers and Ocean-Crossers
“There comes a time when you need to stop crossing oceans for someone who won’t jump a puddle for you.” During my last week of my visit in the States, something significant (but by no means good) happened that prepared me for continuing my “redeeming love” journey with Tenele. It was a heartbreaking situation with
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Child, Look Again
After exposing my inner anguish and admitting my struggles with joy and self, I was encouraged by several people to commit more time to prayer. My friend Jess told me that Mother Teresa’s Sisters of Charity commit two hours of prayer every day so their ministry might be successful. So I went to mass and
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I Shall Not Be In Want
Jehovah-Raah, the Lord my Shepherd This is one of my favorite names of God! While the Ambassador team, led by my sweet sister, was in Swazi last month, I was able to occasionally join them for team devotions at night. One particular night that I was feeling this separation from Joy and confusing degradation of
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Nothingness
In my journal on 7/9/15, I wrote: If you have nothing good to say, than your nothingness is your true poverty. I used to average 2 blog posts per month. But in the last three and a half months combined, I’ve written only one. My absence of words and posts is not due to my
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Generation of Quitters
“We are not here to make an impression. We are here to make a difference.” -Ann Voskamp “Everyone loves ‘justice’ until there’s a cost.” – Eugene Cho “We are called to spiritual warfare, not to a sheltered life of comfort without pain. Our comfort comes from knowing who God is. We are called to be
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One of Darkness
On May 2nd I boarded the plane in Johannesburg, South Africa for an 11 hour flight to Amsterdam and then an 8 hour flight to Chicago. To say I was eager to be home was an understatement; in fact, if this trip hadn’t come at this time, I probably would’ve had a breakdown. I was
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Entrusted to Me
“On this account I am suffering things…” (2 Timothy 1:2…the finished verse is at the end) It’s probably not a surprise to you if I say that this past year was the most difficult year of my life, for many, MANY reasons. But the greatest suffering was the rejection of the one who inspired this
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No Easy Day
I haven’t seen Tenele in three weeks, but it seems like so much longer. I have heard from her, though. She wrote me a letter and gave it to Ayanda’s younger brother, hoping he’d give it to Ayanda to give to me the next time they met. Luckily for me, it was sooner rather than
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Prisoner of Fear
“For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control.” -2 Timothy 1:7 Although nothing (“neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities…nor powers, etc”. –Romans 8:38) can separate us from the love of Christ, there is one thing that inhibits us from fully embracing his love:
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Mission: To Kill…Me
“The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. But I have come that you may have life and have it in abundance.” -John 10:10 It makes sense now. Everything. The physical fighting, the knife-threatening, the exaggerated arguing, the falling asleep during bible study, the fact that I’ve been feeling this month like the girls
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A Father’s Love
The moment I explained the miraculous news to my girls that my father was coming to visit us in Swazi, Ayanda literally screamed and jumped up and down on her bed like a six year old. After calming down and collecting herself, she beamed, “I knew he would come! I dreamt he would!” Never ever
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A Love That Reaches
Is there really a love that reaches Beyond my broken pieces To hold me as I am And give me strength to stand? Somebody, please tell me this is so Because I reach For a love that makes me whole. They said he might walk free, This man that stripped the life from me Because
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Graceful Mess
Graceful Mess A structured chaos The stormy calm A salty pancake A silent psalm 15 “Mama Kate”s, but I’m just one Lucia’s on timeout; Benny calls me “Mom” A maddened clarity The cooling heat A muted melody A loud retreat Ayanda tells me I need a vacation Melissa asks me not to stay away again
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“Front Porch Paradise”
Because sometimes songs can say it better… This is my rewritten version of Phil Vassar’s song, “Just another day in Paradise.” Lucia’s screaming, my ears ringingBenny’s laughing at the Sibussa cleaninghis rice mess – on the floorWho’s that? Someone’s at the door. Got a half hour, forget my shower Take some cereal but the soy
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All I Need
It has never taken me this long to think of what to write. Yet, I still don’t know how to summarize what has been going on this past month and a half. Major things have happened, like my parents coming to visit, Tenele’s mile markers, and starting my new teaching job. There are just too
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I Was Nothing
“Keep me as the apple of your eye…” “Now I can see…”“I came from darkness but now I’m in His light…”“I let satan have control but never again…”“I was nothing, but now I’m something…”“I know I can be a good mom…”“I should forgive my mother…” She wrote numerous statements like these that filled pages and
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Unstained, Unhampered, Spotless
Can you solve this riddle? What is…? intelligent, holy, unique manifold, subtle, agile, clear, unstained, certain, unhampered, beneficent, firm, all-powerful, all-seeing, pervading all spirits… “She penetrates and pervades all things by reason of her purity. For she is an aura of the might of God, and a pure effusion of the glory of the Almighty…
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This Is What It’s Like
Knock, knock! I rolled my eyes and sighed at the all-too constant knock on my bedroom door. Is there really nowhere I can escape to be alone just for five minutes?! I thought to myself. The door opened without me answering. “Mama Kate?” Nokwanda came in the room without an invitation. “What, Nokwanda?” I said
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Do You Love Me?
While on vacation in Mozambique for 10 days, I spent a lot of time in Scripture, Christian books, and in prayer. Every day during the week, a thought kept coming to mind about dedicating a morning of silence to God to be still and listen for Him. I kept pushing the thought aside, thinking Rachel,
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She Said Yes
“Mama Kate, where’s make(mom)?” Lucia tugged on my skirt one day. “She’s at her place,” I answered.“At her place…” she echoed, just as she repeats everything I say. She looked at me with sad eyes.“Should we go see her today?” I asked.“Yes!” she jumped up and down. Isn’t it amazing how forgiving, pure, and loving
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